From Discord to Dialogue

In light of the recent events, including the attempt on former President Trump’s life and the tragic death of an innocent bystander, we face deepening divisiveness in our country. This underscores the urgent need for a pathway to healing and unity through meaningful communication. Knowing disagreements and confrontations are inevitable, I’m reminded of three fundamental questions from a common philosophy that can pave the way for more constructive dialogue. These questions should serve as guiding principles for engaging with others thoughtfully and respectfully. If we can embrace these tenets in our country together, we can foster a better understanding, bridge divides, and create a more harmonious society. 

1. Is what you are saying true? 

Never say anything you know to be false against anyone. If you don’t know, don’t assume or guess. Speak clearly and be respectful. Refrain from filling in moments of silence with comments that don’t move the conversation forward constructively. Appreciate the person whom you are speaking with and apologize for anything said in error. Honesty is the best starting point in any collaboration.

2. Is what you are saying kind? 

Too often, sarcasm enters conversations when there is a disagreement or confrontation. “Kill them with kindness” is a mantra for dealing with difficult people or those with differing viewpoints. Unfortunately, the opposite often occurs, and kindness and care are in short supply for those considered undeserving. Acknowledge the feelings and emotions in conversation and look for common ground if there is a difference of opinion. Feel free to ask questions to understand where the other person is coming from. Kindness is remarkably potent and can generate a sensible response when exchanged genuinely.

3. Is what you are saying necessary? 

If it isn’t, don’t say it. Plain and simple. Do not drift off-topic and ramble without thinking. Do not pretend you have all the answers. Do not think your view is the only one that matters. To keep a conversation moving, do not speak of things that will not lead to solving a dispute or making a salient point. Remember, silence is often golden and immensely powerful.

Our words can be inspiring and influential, but they also have the power to be dangerously harmful. This time-tested, scripturally based principle promotes the communication connection needed: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” This advice has saved me more times than I can count. These powerful words can become a great asset if we master them.

Are you willing to accept the challenge and practice these principles? Let’s do our part to bring unity to each other.

These insights are from “Speech: Speak Softly and Embrace Silence” in Diamonds, Deals, and Divine Guidance. Learn more and sign up for these blogs at www.bobbykocol.com/blog.